Escaping Workplace Drama: Strategies for the Rescuer Communicator-Part 4
Welcome back as we wrap up our blog series on escaping the workplace drama triangle. Throughout this series, we have explored the roles that inspire workplace drama - the persecutor, the victim, and the rescuer. Today, we’re all about Amanda, the classic rescuer communicator.
Meet Amanda, the Rescuer
Amanda is a project manager known for her dedication and dependability. Her colleagues admire her willingness to step in and solve problems. She is known for going above and beyond to support her team. However, Amanda’s helpful hand sometimes causes her to bite off more than she can chew. Her instincts to step in and save the day leave her depleted. When it is time for her to focus on her own responsibilities, she no longer has the bandwidth. While she enjoys being praised for her team spirit, she often ends up disgruntled because after she has helped everyone else, there isn’t time left in the day for her. Not only is this cycle unhealthy for Amanada, it is also unhelpful for her teammates who are also trapped in the drama.
If Amanda’s story sounds familiar, take a moment to acknowledge that rescuing often stems from a place of care and empathy. Yet, the behavior can create unhealthy dynamics, leaving the rescuer feeling overburdened, unappreciated, and emotionally drained. Let’s explore how rescuer tendencies show up and how to reclaim balance and harmony in your professional life.
How the Rescuer Role Shows Up at Work
Over-involvement: The rescuer often takes on tasks that are not their responsibility, enabling helplessness in teammates whose go-to role in the drama triangle is the victim.
Avoiding Personal Accountability: By focusing on solving others' problems, rescuers sometimes neglect their own priorities.
Perfectionism and Need for Control: Rescuers may feel compelled to ensure everything is done perfectly, leading them to overextend themselves.
Unhealthy Boundaries: Rescuers often struggle with a two-letter word - “no”. They often say “yes” without asking if their assistance is needed and have challenges saying “no” when a demand is made on their time.
Emotional Burnout: Due to over-involvement and a lack of boundaries, rescuers often feel exhaustion and resentment.
Breaking Free from the Drama Triangle
To escape the rescuer role and break free from the drama triangle, here are a few strategies to help:
Build Self-Awareness: Start by reflecting on patterns and triggers to understand what motivates you to move into the rescuer role. Try journaling about the following to help you in your reflection time:
“Why do I feel compelled to step in?”
“What am I avoiding by rescuing others?”
Set Healthy Boundaries: Become comfortable with saying “no” when necessary and communicating your limits. When tempted to jump in and save the day, try taking a step back and inviting the person you want to help into the solutioning process. Ask them how they think the issue should be handled. Inviting them into the solutioning process shifts the dynamics and offers them empowerment.
Practicing Emotional Detachment: Learn to care without carrying. Practice deep breathing to help you manage stress, emotional pulls, and over-identifying with the struggles of others. As you practice being responsible to instead of responsible for teammates in your circle, you will experience a more balanced and harmonious life.
In Closing
Breaking free from the rescuer role is about practicing compassion for others and yourself. It is important to keep you in the equation and to give from the overflow rather than from a cracked cup depleted of its nutritious substance. As you focus on empowerment, accountability, and emotional resilience, you can escape the drama triangle and contribute to a healthier, more harmonious work life.
Thank you for joining me in this series on escaping workplace drama. May Amanda’s story, Andrew’s story, and Ann’s story inspire you to reflect, grow, and create a positive impact in your workspace. Until next time…
Written by: Angell Berry, MA