How to talk to your child about starting counseling.

How to talk to your child about starting counseling…

Your perspective on counseling and your perspective on your child being in counseling impacts your child's perspective on being in counseling!

1. Counseling isn’t a punishment. Saying things like "I need you to go to therapy because you need to change/ you need to stop being so mean to your siblings/ you need to stop having such a hard time going to school" will make your child feel like they are the issue and they are wrong or bad.

View and speak about counseling as a gift, an opportunity for your child to play, talk about, and process whatever they need to in a safe, comfortable, and nonjudgemental environment.

Saying something like "I know you/ we/ our family has been having a tough time and you deserve your own special place to go talk, play, or do whatever you need to do to help you feel the best you can."

You want them to come to counseling because they deserve it, not because you're tired of their attitude. 

2. Make your experience in counseling and with your child's therapist known! 

- If you have been in counseling before, tell your child what your experience was like. For example, "I went to counseling to talk about some big feelings I was experiencing and I was able to talk freely about what I was feeling. I felt so supported and listened to and I want you to have that same experience."

3. At Alice Stricklin Counseling, our policy when working with minors is for the counselor to always have an intake session with parents before meeting the child. This allows the counselor to get all the information they need about the client, including presenting problems, family history, and goals for the client's time in counseling directly from the parent.

It also allows the parent to meet the counselor so they can talk to their child about them! Most children (and let's be honest, most adults) are nervous about coming to an unknown place and talking to a stranger for the first time. So a parent meeting with the counselor first and sharing their experience can help ease the child's anxiety.

Tell your child who you met with, what the room looks like, what the therapist does, etc. Take pictures of the room (or show them these pictures) so they know what to expect. Say something like, "I met with a lady named Elizabeth yesterday. She is very nice and she loves kids. She creates time for kids to come see her and play, explore, and talk to help them feel the best they can." 

Hopefully this helps you talk to your child about the start to their therapeutic experience so everyone can have the best start to counseling as possible!

Counseling isn't scary and it isn't a punishment. It can be fun, it can be hard work, and it can be very rewarding for all involved. 

Written by: Elizabeth Nguyen, MMFT (Under Supervision)

Elizabeth is a counselor at Alice Stricklin Counseling and is accepting new clients. She specializes in children, teens, and families.